Anu Mahadev’s poem “Sapodilla – the soap apple seed speaks” was included in our “Transitions” spring journal in honor of National Poetry Month. The DRP editors felt this poem represented the theme and it brought many layers of sensory and spiritual descriptions that come from examining a piece of fruit. Read the poem here and come back to understand the poet’s inspirations.
An amalgam of a left-brained ex-engineer and a right-brained creative writer would be the best way to describe a lyrical storyteller like me. Originally from India by way of Bahrain, I am now a New Jersey-based poet, and a 2016 MFA in Poetry graduate from Drew University. At present, I am Poetry Editor for The Wild Word, and was prior to this Editor-in-Chief for Jaggery Lit, and a Senior Editor for the Woman Inc. My latest collection of poetry, A Mouthful of Sky was released in April 2022 by Get Fresh Books LLC. My work has appeared in many literary journals and anthologies, and I am a 2023 alumna of the Kenyon Writers’ Workshop.
At what point did you consider yourself a writer?
I have always been writing ever since I can remember – as early as a little child. Always poetry, even back then. There was some dreamlike quality, some rhythm and lilt to the language and of course the delight in finding rhyming words that drew me to it more than writing essays or stories. In a world with so many rules, it felt like that was the one place where I did not have to follow any rules, nor did everything have to make sense! I wish I could have pursued writing full time then, but even though life took me along another path, I never lost the love of reading and writing.
Having gone through a big part of life identifying myself as an engineer or a consultant, it was certainly a change to not be associated with the sciences or math or computer programming or financial data. More than a transition, it was an identity crisis – which happens when you become your job. Marriage to my soulmate and motherhood taught me to slow down, to learn infinite patience and brought me back to my first love. I restarted writing when my toddler would allow me to, and by the time he entered elementary school, I found the courage to apply for and enroll in a low-residency MFA program in poetry at Drew University.
I still felt like an impostor through the entire process, even after I graduated, got a few poems published in literary journals, did some readings, even after my book was published. Somehow internally it still felt like something I was not an expert at – something I was doing on the side – of what, exactly, I did not know. I met a lot of poets at various places, created a community of poets over Zoom in the pandemic, and continued writing. But honestly it was not until last year that I felt that I too now belonged in this esteemed world, I had tiptoed around the edges long enough. Attending workshops and writing retreats solidified the “writer” in me to a point where the only person left to take the plunge into this new identity – me – accepted with grace that this is who I am now.
And I am not a writer because of my publications or my degree or awards or how many people know me as one. I consider myself a writer because it is what I love to do, it gives me joy and purpose. It’s not just an outlet; it allows me to express the world as I see it. The shoe fits, and I’m not taking it off – there is no one else I’d rather be.
Give us a peek into your writing process. How do you come up with your ideas? How do you beat writer’s block?
Truthfully, I do not have a process. I juggle a lot of hats simultaneously and that means being flexible with my time, because I simply do not know what will come up when. Therefore, all these years I have avoided being tied to a desk or a timetable – it reminds me of my corporate job. I love to jot down unique or interesting words or ideas, or thoughts that come to me from time to time, and then write when the clutter in my mind has cleared and I get the space to think and focus. So no, I do not have some routine I follow. I am inspired by the ordinary day to day things I come across because I also feel that with age, I’ve begun to draw comparisons to things from past events or places I’ve visited, people I’ve met and then unusual connections form in my brain that led to a poem. I don’t need to be in some exotic location or have something significant happen to be inspired. The muse is all around us, but yes, she is hard to find some days. I write when the ink is flowing and then revisit the poem later with fresh eyes.
What do you hope readers will get out of your poem featured in DRP’s anthology?
My poem starts with a simple seed of the sapodilla fruit, which we call chickoo in India. For most of us who are not into gardening, how often do we pay attention to the seed? We usually toss it out so we can quickly eat. And yet sometimes it is in the small details in life that the biggest lessons are waiting to be learned.
As per the theme of the issue, “Transitions,” I wanted to convey that change is inevitable, it is indeed the only constant in life. I hope readers will appreciate that the small seed has the power to create life, under the right circumstances. And life with its share of ups and downs is ultimately a cycle that repeats – for everyone who is born on this planet. The change I was referring to is not just in this one life, but as per the Hindu beliefs of reincarnation according to the Gita, our holy book, the soul stays indestructible while it inhabits different bodies. I hope that readers appreciate how fleeting this life is, how ephemeral, and remind themselves to experience life in the present moment. The good times are temporary, so enjoy them and celebrate them, but the tough times are temporary too, so ride through them, grieve, reflect and be aware that this cycle will always continue. I also hope that they realize that external appearances can be deceiving and what’s inside is far more valuable and long-lasting – we all know this, but do we really stay true to it when the time comes? Or are we still drawn to material success, good looks and status/titles?
What was the inspiration behind your poem featured in DRP’s anthology?
The theme itself was the inspiration, and it was well timed as I feel my own body going through a transition as I age into the next phase of life. It’s not like I was eating a fruit when I decided to write about it; in fact the last time I ate a chickoo was probably years ago when I was visiting India. I chose that fruit as a nod to my origin, but also because on a hot summer day, if you wash and bite into a just ripened chickoo, it is unbelievably soft and fleshy, not extremely juicy, but enough to quench your thirst.
But the problem is that the seed is so big and sharp that it is such an annoyance when it gets caught in your mouth that the first reaction is to throw it away without even looking at it. (I think it takes up too much room for such a small fruit!) I went back to that time, but this time I paused to look at the seed and take in its finer details. A characteristic of being a poet or writer is the power of your memory and observation – seeing things that others would probably ignore and seeing them in a new light. I started with this nondescript object, not knowing where the poem would go, and it led me to the infinite vastness of the universe and creation. It is amazing how much depth there is in the ordinary.
What other creative projects are you working on? How can readers find your other writing (and future writings)?
I did not know how I would embrace aging, and so far, I have pleasantly surprised myself. I have accepted it with grace, allowing my body to change, my hair, skin to gray and wrinkle, but most importantly, I have slowed down in many ways. I am open to differences in thought and opinion, am not quick to judge and try to see both sides of any situation. I am glad that wisdom is finally somewhere around the corner. I find myself wanting to write more about this ongoing transition in body and mind, and my perspective from having lived more than half my life. I would like to write about my journey with meditation, mindfulness, philosophy, religion and spirituality, and how being an empath, I have discovered that kindness is the only quality I seek and respect in people. I want to write about letting go – of expectations, of negativities, of toxic influences and surroundings. And I will still always continue to write about my loved ones and what home means to me and how that definition changes with time.
For all updates, events, links to books and other publications, readers can find me at www.anumahadevpoet.com
Thank you for this interview!